Friday, October 2, 2009

Dual Diagnosis

So I started going to a dual diagnosis group today. What, you ask, is dual diagnosis? Well, of course it's co-occurring conditions! What that means in regular people talk is that I am being treated for more than one disorder, usually one being a chemical dependency issue, and the other some sort of mental defect or disorder. The group, besides being on Friday, the one day of the work week I don't have to go to drug court, was highly dysfunctional. It's to be expected; it's full of thwacked out crazies. The counselor is very good, and really cares about helping everyone in the group, but there were a few disgruntled customers, to put it mildly. As I sat there, listening to first one then another of my peers bitch about having to go to the group, I thought to myself, That's what I used to sound like! And still do at times, I'm sure. I mean, one girl was making such a big deal about it being half an hour longer than the "regular" Friday afternoon process group. She couldn't talk about anything except that. When asked anything, her response was to stick out her bottom lip as far as she could and say "I'm pissed off about this sh*t and I'm not participating". Now how in the heck is that helping her program? Or any of the people around her? But, I'm not here to condemn anyone else's actions today. I cooperated, kept my mouth shut if I didn't have anything constructive, and assured the facilitator afterward that it would get better, it was the first class. I can honestly say today that I am actively participating in my recovery, and that makes me feel okay. It's a step in  the right direction. I'm still not to a place where I can say that I'm happy with all this, but I'm not automatically dismissing it anymore, either. So stay tuned, it starts to get interesting from here on out.

1 comment: