Computer died. Going to get my laptop on Friday. Working seven days a week right now. Quite a change from the easy life I have become used to!

ACI certified

I hope! I went and took the ACI (American Concrete Institute) exam yesterday morning, and passed the performance tests, yes, all SEVEN of them! and the oral exam! I was really, really nervous about the performance tests. Really. Very. I have to wait for the written test to be graded to know for sure, but you know if you passed a test or not, and I'm pretty sure I passed. Next, the ICC (International Code Council) Reinforced Concrete Inspection exam, probably in December. Then, I will be a Reinforced Concrete Associate, until I get enough inspection experience to be deemed and Inspector. I'm starting at the shipyard tomorrow, which is good, because we're broke, but I'm going to put the full court press on looking for an inspector position somewhere. I cannot wait to be done with Drug Court so I can pursue job opportunities elsewhere (read: closer to home), but I suppose I'll just have to be patient. Not my strong suite......

So it's been a couple of days

Since my last post. Computer hasn't been working that well. We have to piggyback off someone else's internet connection, and sometimes it just doesn't work. But, I have orientation at the shipyard tomorrow, so that means cable will not be far behind! You never realize how much you miss cable TV until you don't have it! I am very ready to go back to work. It's been over 3 years!! I cannot believe that. Oh yeah, and I phase up to Phase III at Drug Court. And my ACI certification class will be done this Saturday. And my Concrete Inspection course at SDSU is done tonight!! All of a sudden, I'm busy! So what the heck am I doing on this computer?!? Goodbye for now.

*sigh*

Sometimes I just get tired of fighting.

At long last

I have a job! It's funny, a friend of mine has been bothering me every day about applying at the shipyard. So finally I went and applied. I wasn't really looking for a job. I mean, I can use one, sure, but I am in school, and Voc Rehab is paying for me to get retrained. But, I went and applied, and really didn't think they would call. The shipyards fall under the Longshoreman's Act for worker's comp, and I got a total of about 230,000.00 out of that fund over the past 3 years. I decided to not worry about it, and if God wanted me to have a job, I'd have one. When I got home from taking my final exam last night, they had called. I have orientation on the 18th, start on the 23rd. I still have to figure out if it's going to work with Drug Court and all that I have going on, but I really think that working will make me feel better. I'm hoping my back can take it. It should be okay, it's rigging, which isn't all that physical. In any event, we shall see. I'll report back with progress soon......

Zoe is tending her farm, so I have to use the phone.

Computer is on the fritz. It is driving me batty.

Another week closer to......

Something, I guess. Well, it's Friday. I'm sitting here contemplating giving Brindy a bath. She really needs one. I applied for a job at NASSCO (a shipyard) yesterday. I'm well qualified for the job, but prolly won't get it based on permanent work restrictions. If I don't get it, I guess it'll make my SSDI case much stronger! But, I'd rather just go back to work and take painkillers. We really need the money. In a perfect world, I'd be able to just concentrate on school until I was done. When was the last time your world was perfect? Yeah, me neither. So, if I get the job, I'll just get back to it. It's actually been a long time since I've worked, it would be kinda neat......

Weezy, we miss you.

As those of you who are FB friends already know, I got a call early Tuesday morning from a good friend of mine who is a SGT in the USMC. He was calling to inform me that a mutual friend of ours, SGT Cesar Ruiz had been killed by an IED in Helmand Province, Afghanistan. This was a serious blow to me. While I was in Afghanistan, I travelled around the country opening up new Forward Operating Bases for the various branches of the military. Most of the time, there was another carpenter named Mark on my team. On more than one occasion, we would run into the same Marine unit, the 3/3. The 3/3 has an Engineering Company with them, and we would frequently work with the same guys at every camp. There were two guys in particular that we hung around with, Shane and Ruiz. When we expanded FOB Jalalabad, we worked with them for a long time. I really felt like a part of the unit. As civilians, we had many privileges that active duty did not have. I had access to a satellite phone, and although many of the soldiers had cell phones, they didn't work all the time where we were at. When one of the Marines wives was delivering his first child, I managed to sneak the sat phone to the Marine compound so he could call his wife and talk to her after the delivery. When I didn't want to be found, I went to the Engineers tent and hung out with them. We even had cots set up where we could crash. I hadn't seen Ruiz for a while, he was discharged from the Marines. He went home to Texas and started a family. Last year, he was recalled to active duty involuntarily. The military sometimes does this if the person holds a critical Military Occupation Specialty. Shane was assigned to Camp Pendleton, close to where I live in San Diego. Shane has a family, and lives on base. When I came into some money last year, and was going to the casinos all the time, I invited Shane and his wife and son up to the casino, and we sat by the pool in a private tent, chilled out in our luxury suite, gambled some and generally had a good time. It was the least I could do for the guy who had helped me so much overseas. When Shane called me and gave me the news, and asked me to call Mark and tell him, I was shocked. But I suppose that's what happens when you're a Marine. All I know is Cesar leaves a young wife and one year old son who will never know him. Hey, Mr. Obama, when are we going to get our boys out of Afghanistan?

I always have something profound to write on here,

then get to the laptop, and it's gone. I think maybe I'm senile.

I go back

to a two tone shortbed Chevy, driving my first love out to the levy's ..... words to a country song that have been going through my head tonight. I love FB, I have reconnected with so many good, good friends that were long lost to me, that I can't even begin to explain it. Every time I reconnect with someone that was a good friend, that was part of my clique at some point in mi vida loca, I get a very poignant mood for a while, and it's good that I'm home alone. Jessi, God bless her, always wants to know what's wrong, and I can't verbalize it, and she assumes that it's her. Got back in contact with one of my good friends from the Navy, when I was very young, very early 20's. Man, did we think we knew it all. I was convinced that I'd make my first million before I hit 30. I made that mark, but I had no idea then that it would be a million mistakes I'd make, not a million dollars! But I have to keep reminding myself to remember everything in my past, and learn from it. You know, I have an extremely interesting story, to say the least. I'm sure it could help someone out there to hear about it. Maybe you'll get lucky and one of these days I'll write an autobiography on here. It would take a while to read, but be totally worth it! The problem is, most people who weren't there for it would never believe most of my story, even though it's true. I am much crazier than most of the people on Earth. Couple that with my poor impulse control and inability to say no to anyone, and you have the ingredients for a bestseller! Maybe that's how I'll pay the bills.......

Sunday Night

I can't believe it's November already. I was walking home from an NA meeting just now, thinking about the past year and everything I've lost. The fact that I spent my entire settlement is almost enough to put me over the edge. Every bill that I can't pay, the fact that I can't even register my truck, my Mom had to pay my rent, everything seems to remind me how foolish I have been. And that's really what's keeping me clean. So, I guess it wasn't all bad, as long as I learned from it. I always have done things all the way or not at all, I live a life of extremes. Now if only I could get to the extremely good part of it. I know it's there somewhere!

Fall back

Into depression. I don't like the time change in the fall. It gets dark way too early, which doesn't do wonders for my mood. I think a lot of the problem these days is the large blocks of time I spend alone. Well, technically, Brindy is here, but she doesn't have much of a vocabulary. She's a great companion, though. She's my little therapy dog. Jessi works a lot now, which is good, but I'm by myself most of the time. I don't really have any friends anymore, since all my old friends still get high. I have some friends in the program, but not a lot that I know well enough to kick it with. Add to that the fact that we don't have cable, and the end result is me climbing the walls very soon. We go on long walks, but Brindy is very strong and pulls me around, and it really kills my back. My knees don't really like long walks, either. I do lots of reading, study for my exams, but there's only so much of that that one can do. But, I'm just going to take it in stride and not try to get too far ahead of myself. I have a bad tendency to want to rush everything. I want it all yesterday. I want life to be good again, my marriage to be perfect, us to have money again, a house again, yada yada yada. They say patience is a virtue. If ya haven't noticed by now, I'm not very virtuous.