Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly

This phrase comes from "The Promises" as outlined in the Big Book of AA. It assures me that if I am painstaking about this phase of my development, that life will get better, fear of economic insecurities would slip away, that I would intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle me, etc. etc. Well, I'm here to tell you that it's happening veeeeeeeerrrrrrrryyyyyy slooooooooowly. My marriage, it's just bad for everyone involved. My life has no joy. At all. Maybe I don't deserve to be happy? I have to believe that that's not true, or else why keep it up? Man, I hope it changes soon. Something's got to give!