Irresponsibility revisited

Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!! Why is life so damn hard? I am so damn tired of being a f*ck-up. Just when it seems like we're going to be able to get on track and keep our heads above water, something happens. While it's not my fault this time, it's a by-product of my past. I finally start working again, for the first time since July 5, 2006, and I'm on the job less than 3 months before I'm back out of work because of my shoulder. As it turns out, it's not actually my shoulder this time, but my spine. Upon examining the x-rays, Dr A, the orthopedist I was sent to by my insurance carrier, exclaimed "You know, you have the neck of a 70 year old man!". How reassuring! So the next step is an MRI, which the ortho doc has to get approved by the insurance adjuster. It's a very crooked, very nasty game dealing with workers comp. The last time this happened, I was out of work approximately 5 months before I received any compensation. But, this time, I'm not going to drink and drug myself into a stupor each and every day that passes! I sometimes am struck with sudden clarity, and realize a little bit more the extent of damage my years of addiction have caused. I was at the docs office today, and thought that the receptionist looked familiar, but just dismissed it. Then, as I was being interviewed by the assistant, taking my history, she suddenly looked at my file, turned a few pages, and said "Why we saw you here in 2008 for your last injury!" Imagine how silly I felt, sitting in the room telling the woman my medical history, and it was right there in front of her, and I didn't remember that I was ever there. And to make matters worse, I wasn't just there once, I saw them for a couple of months, probably went to the office 20-30 times. Well, as I am trying to learn, I cannot live in the past. I cannot do anything about it, so I don't need to bitch and whine about it. I'm just sayin'. And as I am starting to ramble, I shall close now.