Plaigarism

I'm not at all sure if that's spelled right or not. I read a few blogs on sobriety, and read something I liked it one this morning. It went like this:  

"Embracing change has never been my strong suit, but I am doing my best to float down this stream and resist the urge to grab hold of a hanging branch or log. Floating without clutching to fear. Floating instead, with my eyes on the beautiful scenery."

What an enlightened way to describe it. Of course this person has a counter on their page, and they are at 68oo days and some change, whereas I am at a whopping 105 days of continuous sobriety. So they naturally should a more thorough grasp of the program. To be honest, I haven't really let go completely. Sometimes, when I'm by myself, I toy with the idea that, when Drug Court is done, I'll be able to go back to doing my thing. But not often, and I see it for what it is: bullshit.  It's a cliche, but it's true: my best thinking got me right here in these dire straights that I'm in. It's ludicrous (the idea, not the rapper) to think that I can start drinking or getting high again and have any kind of success in life. At least today, I'm able to call it what it is out loud, and not just in the bathroom talking to that asshole in the mirror. So, I'm going to call it growth, albeit SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW growth.