Mom, you were right

About some stuff, anyways! Hehehehe. Like running out of titles for posts. I have sooooo much to blog, and for a long time was hesitant to come clean, because of certain people who might or might not read it. So, in the interest of my new lifestyle, I am going to be brutally honest from here on out. I am getting dangerously close to graduating from Drug Court. The entire time I've been down for this crime, I've been faking recovery, all the while planning to go back to doing what I do the day I'm off probation. I've been a dope fiend for more than half my life. I'm good at it. I like it. You'll never understand the insidious, sensuous appeal of getting high whenever I want. The prestige, if you will, of being a drug dealer. A vitally successful dealer. It's impossible to explain to an outsider. Money, women, unlimited drugs, popularity, a round the clock party lifestyle. I've often bragged that my life would kill three of the average men. And that's true. However, what that doesn't say is that I have hurt so many people, all of the people who love me, and, sorry Mom, but most importantly my kids. So, having said all of the above, I'm finally trying to do the right thing. I want, no, need, to make things right with everyone I've hurt, and that's a long and illustrious list. So, let's just say, welcome to the New Paul. Stay tuned, folks. It's just starting to get interesting........