Christmas is not what you would call my favorite time of the year

I have been dreading it, actually. My whole life has been turned to mierda by my ill fated, not very well thought out bid for joint custody of my children. I now have 0 percent custody, and my lovely ex denies me even the opportunity to talk to my kids on the phone. I call every day. I leave a message every day. It is slowly bringing me into an inexorable downward spiral, affecting every facet of my already f'ed up life. So, that's why I don't like Christmas. Or Thanksgiving. Or Halloween. Or any other day of the year. Now, I know it may sound like I'm making a very big deal out of this, like any addict is wont to do with any situation. Well, I know it's my fault, and I can accept that. I cannot, however, accept not seeing my children ever again. Merry Christmas.