Fall back

Into depression. I don't like the time change in the fall. It gets dark way too early, which doesn't do wonders for my mood. I think a lot of the problem these days is the large blocks of time I spend alone. Well, technically, Brindy is here, but she doesn't have much of a vocabulary. She's a great companion, though. She's my little therapy dog. Jessi works a lot now, which is good, but I'm by myself most of the time. I don't really have any friends anymore, since all my old friends still get high. I have some friends in the program, but not a lot that I know well enough to kick it with. Add to that the fact that we don't have cable, and the end result is me climbing the walls very soon. We go on long walks, but Brindy is very strong and pulls me around, and it really kills my back. My knees don't really like long walks, either. I do lots of reading, study for my exams, but there's only so much of that that one can do. But, I'm just going to take it in stride and not try to get too far ahead of myself. I have a bad tendency to want to rush everything. I want it all yesterday. I want life to be good again, my marriage to be perfect, us to have money again, a house again, yada yada yada. They say patience is a virtue. If ya haven't noticed by now, I'm not very virtuous.