Who, me, responsible?

I have been under court ordered supervised visitation with my kids for over a year now, and haven't seen them once. This is, without a doubt, 100 % my fault. Through the bad decisions I have made, and the situations that have arose through them, like my being arrested and on felony probation, and having to complete drug court, I am now unable to see my kids unsupervised. This hurt me deeply, but most of all it hurt my pride. I just couldn't understand how I could go from having the kids all the time, taking them everywhere, school, doctors, everywhere, to not seeing them at all. Now, I don't have the money to pay for supervised visitation. And when Maria hit me with it, via the Judge, I was devastated. My deep embarrassment at the situation has kept me from seeing the kids, or even talking to the regularly. I understand why Maria wanted it, and why the Judge granted it, but that was then, and this is now. I have graduated from drug court, I'm 100 percent sober now, and pose no threat to the children. I just want to see them, and don't really know how to go about it. If you haven't noticed by now, I'm a huge procrastinator!! I don't know where all this is headed, I just needed to get it off my chest. I need my kids. :(