Day two

So, day 2, and I'm still sober! I'm thinking of making it an interactive game, a "you guess the date" kind of format. Just kidding, Mom. I have decided to stay out of the bars and not drink. I am, however, going to commit an act of the addicts version of civil disobedience. I am going on Wednesday to get my medicinal marijuana card. Before the overwhelming din from the peanut gallery, let me state my case. I currently take 40-60 milligrams of hydrocodone daily, along with 40 milligrams of flexiril, in order keep my pain at manageable levels. I could avoid highly addictive opiates altogether by using the naturally occuring THC in marijuana. The THC also alleviates my pain more effectively than opiates. So, I'll keep you posted. Also, it's interesting to hear other addicts' views on the Compassionate Care Act. Okay, ponder that for a minute or two....

Patience is a virtue, or so they tell me

I'm not a patient man, as a general rule. I have, however, been working on this lately. I just want this workers comp case over with, so I can start looking for a job in the Inspection field. However, it's going to be a while before that happens. I have to be released by the surgeon, who is going to rate my disability rating, then the comp carrier is going to want me to participate in a federal vocational rehabilitation program, in order to minimize their financial burden during the settlement phase. All these things take time, it'll probably be another year before we take it to the ring and battle it out with the insurance carrier about the sum we'll settle with. I think one of my main problems is that I get so easily bored. A man can only walk on the beach for so long, before it starts to feel like an obligation instead of the pleasure that it should be! But, I've been working on it a lot lately, and it's funny, but I can almost feel myself becoming calmer, and taking the program a little more serious than before. It's strange to think about, me as a sober, responsible adult!!

Slacker

Once again, I've slacked off on my posting. I hardly ever post very much, but I wanted to try and do it every day. Had a good day today. Greeted at church. Going to an AA meeting now. I haven't been going to very many, I don't get that much out of this particular meeting. Some of the people there aggravate me. But, I'm going anyways.

Who, me, responsible?

I have been under court ordered supervised visitation with my kids for over a year now, and haven't seen them once. This is, without a doubt, 100 % my fault. Through the bad decisions I have made, and the situations that have arose through them, like my being arrested and on felony probation, and having to complete drug court, I am now unable to see my kids unsupervised. This hurt me deeply, but most of all it hurt my pride. I just couldn't understand how I could go from having the kids all the time, taking them everywhere, school, doctors, everywhere, to not seeing them at all. Now, I don't have the money to pay for supervised visitation. And when Maria hit me with it, via the Judge, I was devastated. My deep embarrassment at the situation has kept me from seeing the kids, or even talking to the regularly. I understand why Maria wanted it, and why the Judge granted it, but that was then, and this is now. I have graduated from drug court, I'm 100 percent sober now, and pose no threat to the children. I just want to see them, and don't really know how to go about it. If you haven't noticed by now, I'm a huge procrastinator!! I don't know where all this is headed, I just needed to get it off my chest. I need my kids. :(

Amazon.com Help: Amazon Wish List Extension for Google Chrome

Amazon.com Help: Amazon Wish List Extension for Google Chrome

I think this is a great idea! The only problem is, I'll have an enormous wish list!

Amazon.com Help: Amazon Wish List Extension for Google Chrome

Amazon.com Help: Amazon Wish List Extension for Google Chrome

I think this is a great idea! The only problem is, I'll have an enormous wish list!

Amazon.com Help: Amazon Wish List Extension for Google Chrome

Amazon.com Help: Amazon Wish List Extension for Google Chrome

I think this is a great idea! The only problem is, I'll have an enormous wish list!

3:38 am

Yep. It's 3:38, and I'm awake. And don't worry Mom, it's not because I just got home or anything! My back hurts and I can't sleep. I'm bored. So what do I do? Get on the computer! You know, it's amazing. I get on here, and almost immediately, I'm tired! So, I guess it worked. Goodnight!