Damn it, just when I want 2 quit this sh*t, something happens 2 make me cry and realize I'm an alcoholic. Thank you, Abbey.

Moving sucks

Even if you're just moving from one apartment to another in the same building! It wouldn't suck so bad, but I really can't do too much right now, and it pisses me off.  Oh well, I guess I get a chance to practice some serenity, and realize that, once again, there are certain things I'm powerless over. Like not being able to help Jess move our stuff down to the new apartment because of my stupid spine. I'm not used to being such a sissy, it's not cool.

We are talking about being in spiritual kindergarteners in my AA meeting. I am still in pre K. But luckily for me, schools still in session.

Blah!

I feel terrible today. I guess I'm going to have to get used to my back constantly hurting. Hopefully, surgery will alleviate that. I had a horrible Father's Day. My children's mom doesn't allow me to see the children. I know that I played the deciding role in that, but still, I am absolutely no danger to the kids ( who, by the way, won't be kids much longer! Ashley turns 18 in 2 weeks, Adam turns 14 tomorrow!) but she still insists on playing these games. But, I'm broke, on disability, and really have no way to force her hand on this issue. So, for now, I'll just do what the Good Book and the Big Book says, and pray for her. I finally get to go back to phase 4 at drug court this week, and I'll only have to go twice a week instead of 5 days a week. Hopefully I'll phase up to aftercare this Friday, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up about that, they have a way of letting me down. Actually, to be more accurate, I have a way of sabotaging myself every time I start to get ahead, or get a little recovery under my belt. I've gotta start putting the blame where it lies, with myself.

Still sober....

Man oh man, it's harder than you would think, staying sober....sometimes it's overwhelming to think that I can't ever drink even one more little tiny Jack and Coke....I guess that's the reason for the whole "one day at a time" theory. Don't get me wrong, it's not like that's all I ever think about, it's just that I genuinely like drinking beer. It's easy now, when I got drug court breathing down my neck, but when it's over, that's another story....

Oh, and Happy Father's Day, all the dads out there.

GOP Outraged By 'Shakedown' BP Escrow Account, Apologizes To CEO

GOP Outraged By 'Shakedown' BP Escrow Account, Apologizes To CEO

What the hell are these Republicans thinking?!?!

Late Night Liars: Cashmere on the Gulf Oil Spill

FBI Agents, AA meetings, and me

Thank you, God, for allowing me to get straightened up when you did. I have just witnessed someone that I know, a neighbor of mine who was in my AA home group, but who recently relapsed, get arrested by the FBI for multiple bank robberies. Totally took me by surprise. Not the arrest, I know he's been heavily involved in drugs lately, and has been making multiple trips across the border every week. So I naturally assumed when I heard the agents take him down, that it had to be for trafficking narcotics or something. I was blown away when the agent told him that they had him cold for "multiple bank robberies". Man, oh man.

Beach Treasures

I find treasures when I walk on the beach. I try to walk everyday, and take my wife with me. Today, she had a doctors appointment, so it was just me and Brindy. Now, Brindy is our not-too-well-behaved-pitbull (yeah, that's a special breed. I am just no darn good at getting dogs, or anyone else, to mind me!!). It's hard to walk slowly and scour the beach for shells and such when you've got the pup, because she wants to sniff everything, and God forbid another dog walk by and we not run over and play!! But, most days we find stuff on the beach. What we like to find (read: the wife) is sea glass washed up on the shore and ground down to a smooth, oddly shaped finish. Clear is okay, but green is good, and blue or red glass is rarest of all. Today, we just found a couple of pieces, but I found a little toy soldier, I'm pretty sure it's a Decepticon. I seem to find little toy soldiers a lot in the sand, I think I'm going to make a piece of art with them all. Ok, I think this is pretty good for me for one day, so I'll go try and be productive now.l

Yeah, so much for blogging every day!!

I don't think I've ever made it an entire week at one time! Anyhoo, since last time I was on, my Mom and aunt came out here, my daughter graduated from high school, and I got another 30 day token. We'll see if it takes this time. I may be ready.....

Welcome to San Diego

My mom and aunt are here to see Ashley graduate from high school this Friday. I'm happy to see them, Mom especially. Last time I saw her, I wasn't very nice. On another front, I have 30 days tomorrow, again. Maybe this'll be the last time.